Miracles Do Happen

On the 23rd of may I decided to take a pregnancy test as it was cycle day 34 I was still scared about taking the test as I felt like I was still going to have a period as I had been cramping on and off for the last couple of weeks.
 So anyway me and Thomas spoke about it and we decided to buy the test that day. When I went to do the test I didn't tell Thomas I was doing it. So I sat on the toilet read the instructions then did a wee on the stick. Almost straightaway two lines appeared and I sat staring at it for a couple of minutes in shock as obviously I had never seen two lines on a pregnancy test in my life. So anyway I went downstairs and my hands are shaking at this point and I said to Thomas "look at this, do you think it is true" so Thomas took the instructions off of me and then he had a big grin on his face. I can't remember what he said now but he gave me a hug. So anyway about an hour later I decided to take the other test as I still didn't believe it and this time the test line was even darker and I thought ok maybe I am pregnant.

The next day I decided to phone the doctor and got an appointment for later that day. So when I sat down I looked at the doctor and I said to him I think I'm pregnant and I asked him if he would do another test and he said they don't normally do one if the patient has had two positives. so I whipped out my phone and showed him a picture of the test and said are you sure its true he then looked at Thomas and they both started laughing. He did say it was normal that I felt like that because of everything that had happened.
Anyway he told me to lie down on the bed and he felt my tummy he then told us what would happen next and said congratulations. Can you believe it I am actually pregnant :)
I then went and told my family and my mum and sister were crying but my mum said she had an idea that I was going to tell her that I was pregnant.

scan and midwife- I phoned the nurse and she said that she would like me to go for an 8 week scan just to check that everything is ok and to see if I am carrying more than one because of the clomid :) so my scan is on the 17th of June which is also when I go and see the midwife luckily one is in the morning and the other one is in the afternoon. Me and Thomas are so excited for the scan so we can see our little baby.

pregnancy symptoms-
Nausea, being sick, cramps and sore boobies.



 After all the tests, scans, operation, fertility drugs ,disappointment, heartache and tears we have finally conceived our little miracle and our dark days have finally turned into brighter ones knowing that one day very soon I will be a mummy and Thomas will be a Daddy. I hope this post brings a little bit of hope to all the couples going through a similar thing we have been through and to remember that know matter how tough it gets you are strong enough to get through it . I hope you will continue to follow us on our journey because I have decided I am going to blog my pregnancy week by week.

Thank you for reading this post on our Journey love Kirsty xx

Our miracle in a box  

Emotional Rollercoaster on Clomid

First off I just want to talk about my results from my day 21 progesterone blood test, After phoning the hospital constantly for two days I finally got my results from Sarah ( the nurse). My progesterone level was 98 which the nurse said is really good it means  I have responded very well to the clomid and that I definitely ovulated around day 13 as from when I had the vaginal scan she could see that I had already ovulated. So she wants me to stick at 50mg for the next four months if I don't fall pregnant and she also said that i won't need to go for anymore scan's or blood test because the clomid is doing what it should be. I am feeling a little anxious about this because it will be all about guess work again, I don't know I just feel like I am on my own again.
 Anyway I spoke to her about the constant pain I have been having and she said I will feel discomfort because my body has gone from maybe not really ovulating to producing two follicles. I just feel like the clomid has been so much tougher on my body this month and at times I have felt like giving up :(.
I am so thankful that I have such a supportive partner because this week has been hell not only physically but emotionally. One night I was in bed crying with the pain and Thomas said the nicest thing. He said thank you for putting your body through this to try and give us a baby. I told him he didn't have to thank me because it is what we both want.
So today is day 31 and still no sign of my period just feeling really confused because for the past week I have felt like I am going to come on and if I ovulated on day 13 surely my period should be here. I am not going to get my hopes up though because I read somewhere that clomid can lengthen your cycle. Just wish it would hurry up and put me out of my misery.

Thank you for reading this post on our journey, love Kirsty xx

Follicle Scan

I went to my apponitment yesterday at the hospital to have my vaginal follicle scan (cycle day 14) Thomas was with me which I was happy about :) After scanning me Sarah (the nurse) told us that it looked like I had already ovulated as she could see two follicle's with fluid left behind and she also said that the lining of my womb looked nice, thick and juicy so this means that if the egg was fertilised it would have a good chance of implanting. So Sarah said everything is looking good and the clomid is doing what it should be.

*Blood Test- Next week on day 21 I have to go for a blood test to make sure the ovulation was strong enough (read more here) and if my progesterone levels are not high enough then she said we can talk about upping my clomid to 100mg.

After yesterday I am feeling really hopeful that I could fall pregnant  soon and I really cannot wait for that day to come.

Thanks for reading this post on our journey, love Kirsty xx

Clomid - Round 2 could it be second time lucky?

Just sat here thinking about things and I thought I better update my blog :) Well as you can probably guess from the title I am still not pregnant, still trying and trying. Month one on clomid was unsuccessful but I am trying not to get too down about it as it was pretty much guess work as I wasn't scanned last month so it could be that I am not responding to 50mg of clomid or maybe our timing was just wrong. I guesss I didn't get my hopes up too much anyway I think its my way of dealing with it and protecting myself from the hurt because it sure does hurt like hell.
Clomid round 2-
I got my period on the 19th of april and took my clomid on days Two to six again. Not going to lie clomid has made me feel pretty horrible. I am just going to make a little list of what I have noticed when taking clomid.
*really bad headaches and eye pain
*seeing floaty things
*feeling dizzy a lot of the time
* feeling down and extra moody
* greasy hair. I am loving dry shampoo at the minute
*extra bad skin.
I think that is everything haha.

I have nicknamed my clomid the bitch haha but if she does her job she will be my miracle in a box :) Also I have noticed clomid has made my cycle 30 days now and the flow of blood after say day 2-3 is really light which I am not complaining about.

Vaginal follicle scan-
This thursday I have to go for my scan which will be my day 14 but when talking to Sarah the nurse she said I probably won't ovulate until  day 16 as my cycle was 30 days and not 28 days, but this is the only appointment she had left. I can't believe this cycle business used to confuse me. But I guess I have had so many months to get used to doing it :( Also a week after the scan I have to go for a blood test to check that I did actually ovulate.
Well I am going to leave it here for now and will update after I have had the scan on thursday.

Thanks for reading this post on our journey, love Kirsty xx

Clomid

I finally started clomid on the 21st of march :) I phoned Sarah the nurse to book my scan a couple of days before this but because I was only spotting she told me to ring back when I was bleeding heavy. So I rang back on the 20th but she told me that she wouldn't be able to scan me this month because she would be on holiday on friday which would be my day ten and then obviously it is the easter weekend. She told me not to worry and just to take the clomid. Then she would scan me next month. I felt a little disappointed because I would have liked to have had the scan to check that I was responding to the 50mg of clomid but fingers crossed I am and that it will work first time. As far as side effects go I have been feeling a bit tearful lately and have had a really bad headache and eye pain for the last two days but not sure if the headache and eye pain is because of the clomid.
 Anyway I am going to keep this post short and hopefully next time you read my blog I will be sharing some good news :) fingers crossed.

My 6 months worth of clomid.

 Thanks for reading this post on our journey, love Kirsty xx

 

 

Fertility Drug

Sorry that I haven't posted in a while just thought that i would wait until after my hospital appointment to do an update.

Results from my HSG test (read more)-

So I had my appointment at the hospital on tuesday and it turn's out my right tube isn't blocked after all. I couldn't believe it i was expecting the consultant to tell me it was blocked. So it turns out during the laparoscopy read more here my fallopian tube went in to spasm and that is why they wanted to do the HSG to check if it was really blocked or not. So as you can imagine we were really happy about that.

Next Step-

After hearing some good news for a change the consultant asked what we would like to do next and between the three of us me, Thomas and the consultant we decided that I would try a fertility drug called CLOMID (read more here)  He explained to us that there was a chance that we could have twins but not triplets haha and he also explained the side effects and also mentioned something called Ovarian Hyperstimulation syndrome-  This is when the ovaries become dangerously enlarged with fluid. But he said the risk of this happening is very small.

I start my Clomid next month as it was to late to start this month. I have to take one 50mg tablet once a day on days two and six of my cycle. I have six months of clomid but hopefully I won't need to take it for that long :) also on day one of my cycle I have to ring Sarah the nurse to arrange for me to go in for a scan. He didn't say what type of scan but after doing a bit of research I think it will be an internal vaginal scan. can't believe how scared I was the first time I had to let them see my bits lol but it's like nothing to me now as I will let them do anything if it means I get my baby at the end of it. It was so funny because when I had to get the HSG test done I had three women in the room and the nurse was like relax and don't worry the door is locked and no men will walk in lol. Anyway the scan is to see if the clomid is working and if it's not they will up my dose to 100mg for the month after.  

Hospital Appointment-

Also I recieved a letter this morning telling me that I have another appointment in september but hopefully I wont be going to that :)


Thank you for reading this post on our journey, love from Kirsty xx

Will this be a happy new year?

I am sat here wondering if  2013 will be any different for us its hard to remain positive when you have so much doubt about everything and have been trying to conceive for two years and two months. I find it hard to smile about things these days, it feels like I am living under a dark cloud. All the things i dream of seem so far out of my reach I almost feel like I don't deserve to be happy because the one thing that i want and that would make us so happy is not happening for us, it hurts so much. I often feel angry at myself and my broken body, i think that i am not strong enough to continue trying and often feel like i am kidding myself about any of the treatments actually helping me to get pregnant. I just hope that everything that I am going through will be worth it in the end and me and Thomas will have our beautiful little baby. Sorry for being so  negative in this post I do understand that there are people in this world who are far worse off than us but its hard to see the good in anything when you want a baby so badly.  
    for all the people who are in a similar position to us i wish you all the luck and hopefully 2013 will be our year.
     Thanks for reading this post on our journey love Kirsty xx