hoping for a miracle

Just thought I would write a quick post and let you know what has been going on with me this week.

Positive or Negative-

Well on wednesday I decided to take a pregnancy test because my last period was on the 25th of September and I am always regular the only time I have ever missed a period was in may 2012 due to a vitamin called pregnacare conception.  I had been putting off doing the test for a while because in my heart I knew it wouldn't be positive but then I thought I have to go and see mr newman at the hospital on tuesday and it would be stupid of me to say by the way my period is really late but I haven't took a test.
  So I bought the pregnancy test on my lunch break and took it on wednesday night I decided not to tell Thomas I was doing the test because I didn't want to get his hopes up. So I took the test and of course it was negative. I always tell myself in my head that it is going to be negative because I think that is my way of dealing with the dissapointment and hurt. I always tell myself I wont cry over it but then of course I do. Then I beat myself up for even bothering to take the test in the first place. Now I am feeling really confused because in a way its like my body is playing tricks on me and fooling me into thinking that just maybe I could be pregnant.

Anyway  maybe mr newman can give me some answers on what is going on with me and I will continue to do whatever it takes to get our little miracle baby.

I just found this quote and it made me smile for a second :)

 Thank you for reading this post on our journey
  love Kirsty xx